


Thank You For The Venom

by fickhuck



Category: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (Album), Electric Century, Fall Out Boy, Frank Iero and the Patience, Gerard Way and the Hormones, My Chemical Romance, Waterparks (Band)
Genre: ABUSE IS NOT OK NEVER GO BACK TO YOUR ABUSER EVER, Abuse, Asshole Gerard Way, Bullying, Danger Days AU, Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys, Drugs, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Physical Abuse, Self-Harm, Smut, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Teenagers, This is a work of fiction, Verbal Abuse, thanks enjoy the ride:)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2019-08-06 19:47:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16393991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fickhuck/pseuds/fickhuck
Summary: A series of eight oneshots each based off of a single lyric from My Chemical Romance's song Thank You For The Venom. Suicide, guns, sadness, jokes, Frank being cute, this has it all.





	1. Give Me All Your Poison

**Author's Note:**

> first: fat trigger warning. if you have any problems with depression, suicide, anger issues, anxiety, blood, please don't read this! i want y'all to stay safe. second, thanks to billie for betaing this it's finally up:) third, i'm uploading everything in one go because lazy (whip)

"You're a fag, Iero."

Passing remarks. Blurred names that shouldn't even mean anything. Tripping in the halls. Shoving into lockers. Gerard was mean to Frank, a downright bully.

"Why don't you go hang yourself with your shoelaces, Iero, no one would care."

One day, Gerard had spotted him holding Patrick's hands. Patrick's mom had just died, and Frank was consoling him. Once Patrick had gone to class, Gerard had shoved Frank against the wall and hissed, "Who's that, you little fag? Your boyfriend? No one loves you, short ass. Nobody ever will."

This continued.

Frank should hate Gerard, he should loathe him, and on the surface, he did. But not so deep down, Frank knew something. Something he would never admit. A secret he would hold to his chest until his dying day. Because no one, not even Ray or Patrick or Patrick's boyfriend Pete could ever understand. Frank didn't even understand it.

As much as Frank hated the constant tormenting, he almost liked in a twisted, sick, disgusting way **((haha way))**. Even though it was disgusting, belittling, invalidating torture, Frank liked it because Gerard was taking time out of his day to look at him. To speak to him.

Frank loved Gerard. They had most of their classes together, so Frank could watch Gerard the entire time. The way Gerard always put his elbows on his desk when he was writing, the way he talked a little bit out of the side of his mouth, how he always checked his shoelaces to make sure they were even **((if you get this i love you))** , the way he always wrote one one side of the page and not the other and always in pen, all the little things Frank was sure he wouldn't have noticed unless he's been in love.

One day, however, it got to be too much.

Frank'd been feeling down for about fifteen days, Gerard had stopped talking to him or doing anything, he'd even gone as far as avoiding eye contact with Frank ( _that is not the reason I'm sad,_ Frank firmly told himself over and over), and now Frank just wanted to die. He'd brought his guitar up to the school roof and was sitting there watching the sun go down, half assedly strumming out a few chords and waiting for it to be dark so he could finally jump. He waited, the heavy knowledge that this is the last sunset he'd ever see was weighing on his chest, dragging him down, making him gray. He never got to kiss Gerard. He never got to see if Ray finally made it into college.

He would never do anything again.

Frank would never see the sun go down again, never watch Rocky Horror again, never ride a bike, never get another tattoo, never see the new album from his favorite band, never be able to walk to school again, never be able to look at the trees or curl up in bed or smile or laugh or sing or cry or read or fly or live ever again. This was the final choice he'd ever make in his entire life. He had to be very careful.

He'd made his decision. Now it was time to act.

He put his guitar down and stood up with a creaking noise. The sun had gone down but it wasn't dark yet, simply just twilight. He reached near the edge and just stood there, marvelling in the fact that he could choose whether or not to die, right now.

Frank thought about Gerard. His smile, his laugh. His sneer, his taunt. How Frank'd only ever heard Gerard call him by his last name, never his first. His stupid black hair and his stupid dimple. His stupid cute jacket and his stupidly cute hands.

Frank never got to say goodbye.

Frank closed his eyes and spread his arms and was about to lean forwards, all movie-like and shit, when someone said "No."

It scared the shit outta Frank, his eyes shot open and he jumped backwards, turning around. And there he was, in all his fucking glory, scruffy white Converse and ripped up black jeans and Misfits shirt and his black jacket and his grey and black scarf. 

Gerard Way.

Frank looked at him. Gerard was reaching toward him, reaching for Frank.

"Iero, please." Gerard looked at him. "Please, I'm begging you, don't do this."

Frank just raised his eyebrows at him, and took a step back towards the edge.

"Iero, you can't. There are other ways of dealing with this. You can go to therapy, get pills. Please, Iero, you don't need to do this."

Frank found it funny that even though Gerard wanted him dead, he was trying to save Frank from the demise Gerard apparently so desperately wanted Frank to meet.

"Iero." Gerard coughed, looked at the ground, then looked right at Frank. "I lost my brother to this roof. I don't want to lose another person too."

Frank was done. He was fucking tired of his bullshit. He turned to face Gerard fully, and smiled once, sadly, before leaning back.

He was ready to fall. He was ready to let his soul bleed out onto the pavement below him. He was ready to die. But feet clattered forward on the roof, and strong arms wrapped around his torso and hauled him back over the edge, pulling his small body close to theirs and slid their feet under Frank's and walked the pair away from the edge. They buried their face into his hair and just held him. He was so fucking pissed, he'd wanted to die, he'd tried, and Gerard had stopped him.

"You will live today, Iero. You will fucking live another day. You fucking will." Gerard hissed angrily, then went quiet, holding Frank tight.

"Why did you stop me?" Frank said angrily, trying to get free so he could try again; Gerard just octopused him and held him, shaking against him. After a while, Frank finally recognized the shaking as sobs. There was no noise, but Frank could feel the shaking and the tears wetting his hair.

"Why did you stop me?!" Frank repeated again, a little louder and angrier. He fought against Gerard grasp until he could see Gerard's face, Gerard gapsed and whispered "Frankie."

Frank's heart stopped. Gerard Way had called him Frankie. He looked at Gerard, then realized what both he and Gerard had done. Frank'd attempted to end his life. Gerard had treated him with respect, more than that, and saved him, literally pulling him off the edge and saving him.

Frank curled into Gerard's chest, his own tears now falling, his body racking with sobs. They stood there, for god knows how long, until Frank leaned back and looked at Gerard. Gerard and his puffy eyes, Gerard and his red little nose. Gerard and his butterfly lips **((someone please tell me im not alone in the references))** , Gerard and his tiny teeth. Frank did something very stupid then. He'd done a lot of stupid things in his lifetime, but this was probably in the top five most stupid.

Frank definitely did not regret it, that's the only thing that was certain in this moment. He'd kissed Gerard, and he did not regret it.

They just kinda stood there, Frank in Gerard's arms, lips pressed awkwardly together. Frank was in the process of pulling back when Gerard pushed forward, lifting him up so the Frank didn't have to stand on his tippy toes. Their lips crushed together and nuclear bombs went off in Frank's stomach, fireworks exploding into pretty colors in his brain. Frank closed his eyes and opened his lips slightly, sighing, melting into Gerard's arms. Their tongues touched, just at the tips, and an electric current raced through Frank's body. Gerard pulled back first, gasping for air. He looked into Frank's eyes, and Frank shivered but did not move away. Moving in harmony they sat down, Frank's head on Gerard's lap, Gerard stroking hair off Frank's face and kissing him occasionally, whispering soft things to him, stories about his life and his favorite bands, made-up stories about a wolf and a dog who fall in love **((wolfstar))** , stories about knights who fall in love with princes and stories about them, about Frank and about Gerard; they stayed that way until the stars left and the sun came back, never once succumbing to the crushing blanketing wave of sleep.

**((1522 words))**

 


	2. Give Me All Your Pills

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: ABUSE, DRUGS, ALCOHOL. PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS IF THOSE TOPICS ARE SENSITIVE TO YOU IN ANY WAY. I CARE ABOUT Y'ALL AND I DON'T WANT TO MAKE YOU FEEL BAD. NO RAPE DON'T WORRY I WOULDN'T DO THAT CAUSE IT'S A SENSITIVE TOPIC FOR ME. NO RAPE. ALL THE HOO-HOO BETWEEN THEM WAS CONSENSUAL.
> 
> Just to clarify, abuse is never ok. Especially when drugs and alcohol are involved. Never, ever, go back to your abuser. Family, friend, lover, stranger, it doesn't matter. Please, if you're being abused, it's never your fault. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING ABUSED IN ANY WAY AT ALL, TALK TO SOMEONE. PLEASE. Get out of your situation as soon as possible, please. Talk to authority, tell as many people as possible. Save yourself. This is entirely fiction, entirely made up. Do not base any decisions you make in real life off of this.
> 
> Thank you. enjoy.

Dear Frank, my love.

(can I still call you that? Probably not)

I don't blame you for running. I blame me for making you run. I know shouldn't have done all the things I did. I understand why you left, and I'm not going to beg you to come back. I hurt you, Frank. I broke you and bruised you. I killed you. With the exception of the night you left, I didn't remember much of what I did to you and I didn't think that I wanted to. But there was a part of me that wanted to remember so I can feel the pain I put you through. I'm clean, Frank. I'm clean. After you left, Mikey hauled me off the floor, and he sat me in a chair and made me watch as he poured my coke into the toilet and flushed it, made me watch as all my vodka went down the sink. He took all my pills, everything. All my cigarettes. Everything. What used to run me, he threw away. He sat down in front of me, he looked me in the eye. And he said to me, he said "Gerard, Frank's gone. You can't stay like this. People are leaving you because of what you're doing. You need to get clean. If you ever want the possibility of seeing Frank again, you need to get clean."

And honestly, at first Frank, I hated it. It was hell. It hurt everyday, but I fought through. There were times where I wanted to give up, I wanted the pills, and the smoke and the drink. But I didn't do it. I didn't do it. Because of you. And after a while, the memories came back. I remembered the day you ran. I came home late, you were worried. You opened the door for me, helped me with my jacket. You said something about how much I loved jackets, and how much you missed me, and I broke. Something happened inside me, and I hit you. I threw you down, told you how you didn't know how I felt. I saw the hurt and the fear in your eyes, but I didn't stop. I beat you black and blue, I hurt you. I killed your soul that night. Even after I wounded you for life, even after I shattered your soul, you still crawled into bed with me. I was half conscious, but I could feel your weight slip under the sheets. I was too out of it to care. And in the morning, or at least when the sun hit your side of the bed, you got out of bed. You rustled around in the closet, then you tucked a piece of paper into my hand, you kissed my head and left. I didn't know if you were ever gonna be back. I drank myself silly those first couple days, waiting for you to come back. You never did. Then Mikey came over. He picked me back up. He told me just now that you told him everything before he left, but you told him not to tell me. Why was that, Frank? Why did you tell him to not tell me? Didn't you think I deserved the pain of what I did to you? I killed your soul. I killed a part of you. I can't even express the way I feel. I can't tell you how sorry I am. I wasn't in control of my body, and now, almost four years later, and nearly twelve months clean, I am in control. I can control myself now. It took me forever to get clean, through slip ups and a year in rehab, but I'm here. I'm in control. I can do this.

I'm writing songs again, I'm painting again. I'm back, Frankie. And in a little while, I would like to see you again. You don't have to go, but I want to see that you're alive. Even if we're just in the same restaurant at the same time, you don't even have to talk to me. I just need to know you're still here. Even though I hurt you irreversibly, I want to see you. I still need you, Frank. I never forgot you. Ever. Will you let me know? Will you be there? Please, I've worked so hard. Please. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

-Gerard

**((882 words))**

 


	3. Give Me All Your Hopeless Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> if you've read fanbase u know u know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: it's implied that frank has been sexually harassed in the past by people:( you guys get this chapter a few days early because i'm away this saturday - the day i post these chapters- so i figured it'd be ok to give y'all a chapter two days early. this one is legit just pre-fanbase, so if you haven't read fanbase i suggest reading this then that, or the other way around, it doesn't matter. i had loads of fun writing this one. thanks y'all:)

Frank walked into a bar. In all seriousness, Frank was very, very, very lonely. He didn't just want a simple fuck that would a just a one night stand. He was looking for someone who would blow his mind (and hopefully his dick), someone who would stay, someone who would want to be with him. Frank really was extremely lonely.

Frank had already been blown by a girl who looked at Frank in a way that made the voice in his head go "aha! girl." so he did what she wanted. Frank'd already had too many men come up to him and press themselves against his ass, grinding off on him only to have him shake his head and they go away. So when he spotted a black haired beauty wearing eyeliner and a Misfits t-shirt, his brain went "huuuuuuuuuumm. dude" and he walked right over to the man to introduce himself. The beauty in front of him was definitely very tipsy, and Frank had only had two beers. Frank sat down beside the stranger, who had black hair, was very pale and had eyeliner ringing his beautifully hazel eyes. His head was down however, so Frank reached forward and put his hand under the man's chin, tilting it up. The man looked at him and seemed to sober up. **((yeet yeet ajr))**

"Hi!" Frank said nervously, then noticed his voice wasn't sexy enough if he wanted to get into the man's ridiculously tight pants. He coughed, then said, "I'm Frank."

The man in front of him was staring at him like he'd never seen a guy before. After a few minutes he snapped out of it, and introduced himself as Gerard. They talked for a bit about music, and Frank revealed he was in a band, and Gerard seemed interested. Frank soon learned that Gerard was a painter, but also played around with music. Frank ordered beers for them both, and soon they were laughing in the golden light of the bar, amber liquid in glasses before them, giggling in the middle of the room. Frank smiled, drunk on laughter and tipsy on beer, and suddenly Gerard's hand was in his and they were kissing.

Frank was a little surprised, but he went with it, winding a hand into Gerard's hair and pulling him closer. After a while, Frank broke away for air and Gerard looked at him, his lips parted a little. The magic of the situation was heightened when Gerard brought a hand up to stroke the side of Frank's face, Frank himself still in shock that they had kissed.

Frank leaned in again, pressing their lips together firmly, but broke away sooner than he would've liked to. Frank smiled at the indignant squeak that came from Gerard and paid for all their drinks, then took Gerard's hand and led him away.

Gerard stumbled a little as they walked through the crowd, and that's when Frank remembered how fucking wasted Gerard was. Truth be told, Frank wasn't as drunk as he seemed. He wanted to remember this, remember the most beautiful man walking into his life, and maybe walking out again with no trace left, no footprints, no nothing. No reminder that it wasn't all a feverish dream **((but maybe it's a fever you can't sweat out))** , a hope of the night.

But no, Frank had finished his concert and gone to the bar after, not expecting to find someone who might be permanently in his future. He'd have to thank his bandmates for convincing him to go out for a drink, telling him he "needed something other than his hand" (at which Frank had snorted loudly, saying his hand was just fine). He now led Gerard to the sidewalk, where they sat down on the curb, and Frank pulled out his phone to call a taxi. Gerard lent on him, smelling like vodka and beer, his face resting in the crook of Frank's shoulder. Frank wrapped an arm around Gerard's waist, and soon the taxi arrived, and Frank practically poured Gerard into it, he was so wasted. Frank told the taxi driver his street (not his exact address, a habit Frank had held on to from his mother) and they sat there in silence **((cue tyler screeching))** , Frank pressing his face into Gerard's black hair. They got to Frank's street, and Frank pulled Gerard out of the cab, gave the driver some cash and walked Gerard to his house. They got to the front porch, and suddenly, Gerard was kissing Frank, their mouths locked, and Gerard's hands in Frank's hair. Fuck, Frank really wasn't that drunk. He moaned into the kiss,and Gerard pulled him closer, fingers dipping into the waistline of his pants, tracing the ink on Frank's skin.

"Gee..." Frank groaned, searching through his pockets for his keys. Gerard shut him up with a kiss and Frank retaliated, shoving his tongue into Gerard's mouth. Frank finally got the door open and as soon as it was closed, Frank pushed Gerard against the wall, both of them dropping layers like leaves from a deciduous tree in the fall. Frank took a minute to take in the vast expanse of Gerard's pale skin, his warm belly and ivory chest.

"You," Frank growled, "You're fucking beautiful."

He pulled Gerard close, pressing a kiss to his shoulder, smiling when he heard Gerard make a panicked noise, like he wasn't quite used to people treating him this sweetly.

Well, Frank Iero was going to push this man's expectations through the fucking roof.

He pulled Gerard across the hall of his house and into his room, and then they were both naked and Gerard had Frank pinned down on the bed, rocking against him and kissing his chest, leaving little purple marks in his skin that Frank knew he'd wear like a cape until they faded. Holy shit, where had this man been Frank's whole life? No one had ever felt this good before, ever. Frank was basically ready to get down on one knee and fuckin propose to this dude, but he was being distracted by said dude's mouth on his cock.

Frank groaned and laced his fingers into Gerard's black hair, pushing him down on his cock, hips pistoning into his mouth. Frank felt Gerard's tongue swirl around him, and felt Gerard's fingers squeezing his base and oh shit, he was gonna come. Frank pulled on Gerard's hair until the raven-haired man lifted off. Gerard crawled back up Frank's body and they kissed, Frank tasting himself on Gerard's tongue and hating it a little, but also loving it. Frank reached under his pillow, and out came the lube.

He slicked up three fingers and reached down, resting a finger against Gerard's rim. Gerard groaned, the sound echoing around Frank's brain, but Frank had to check. He had to check Gerard was ok with this, not after... not after what had happened... before. Frank's thoughts swirled away for a second, and he was back, back in that square, surrounded by screaming girls and yelling guys and he was being grabbed at and pushed and touched and his head aching because he had so many substances in his body and holy _shit_ it made him want to puke, so he pulled himself away, away from that night where all sense of trust in his fans had left him. He looked down at Gerard, who was looking up at him with dark eyes. Just Gerard, no one else, no short innocent looking girl who turned out to have wrecked Frank's life. He took a deep breath and kissed Gerard, his fingers still circling the edge of Gerard's rim.

"Gee? Is this ok?" Frank muttered in his ear, knowing it might've killed the mood a little, but he had to check. He had to.

"Yes. Of course." Frank felt Gerard kiss his cheek, then lean back to stare directly into Frank's eyes, his hazel eyes filled with lust, and maybe (dare Frank even think it) love? "I'm so happy you asked. The answer would always be yes, but I'm glad you checked."

Frank was about to push his fingers in, but he pulled them up and used his sticky fingers to cup Gerard's face and just kiss him, long and hard, until Frank's head was spinning from lack of oxygen. He put his forehead against Gerard's and just smiled, panting, Gerard's breath mixing with his. He kissed Gerard once more, long, hard, shivery and bruising, then reached down with his right hand, his left one still cupping Gerard's face. He pressed the first one into Gerard, relishing the low groan that sounded when he did. Frank smiled again, nibbling on Gerard's neck as he waited patiently for him to adjust. When he heard the grunted "Go" he pushed in up to his second knuckle, then slowly pulled out again. After a while, Gerard got impatient and started pushing himself down on Frank's finger. Frank pressed in a second, and then a third, until Gerard was whining and panting in equal measure. He crooked his fingers sideways, pressing up to meet Gerard's thrusts, and he felt Gerard writhe beneath him.

"God, fuck, Frank, you are so- so- holy shit, do that again." Gerard was groaning and was really fucking himself on Frank's fingers, and that was really all Frank could take right now. He pulled out his fingers with a loud whine from Gerard and reached to the bedside table for a condom, tearing it open carefully and rolling it over himself. Gerard looked up at him where he was laying on his back on the bed all sprawled out, with his dark, hooded eyes, and holy shit, Frank was going to die. He really was upset that he couldn't keep this man forever, that he couldn't hear his beautiful voice all the time, and he couldn't learn his favorite color, and when his birthday was, his favorite comic book, all the small things he wanted to know. Gerard reached forward and wrapped a hand over his elbow, sending him crashing forward into Gerard's chest. Frank had been the one to initiate all the action so far, but now Gerard was just staring into his eyes, and reaching down with a hand to wrap it around Frank's base and jack him off, quickly. Frank moaned, his eyes closing and fumbled forward blindly to press their mouths together, tongues tangling instantly.

"Frank, shit, _Frank,_ you're a miracle. What have I done to deserve you?" Gerard groaned right into his ear and Frank almost came right from that. Gerard said something better though: "Fuck me, now, please."

Frank grinned and pulled away to grab the lube, which had been pushed away by all the sprawling limbs, then crawled forwards after slicking himself up and pulled Gerard's legs over his shoulder, missionary style. Gerard was looking up at him as if he was a god, eyes wide and dark, filled with lust. Frank nuged the head of his cock in and the noise Gerard made sent Frank spiraling down a hole of lust and wonder. He grunted though, and his face tightened in a look of slight pain, so Frank stopped, and laid a hand on Gerard's shoulder.

"Take your time adjusting, baby, we have all night. All night of just you and me." Frank purred into his ear, and Gerard nodded, kissing his cheek before muttering "You're so fucking big, never had someone as good as you, wow. You're amazing, oh god."

Frank grinned, and obsessed himself with the patch of skin below Gerard's ear, sucking on it and nibbling it until it was a flushed purple color, and Frank knew Gerard was gonna have a hell of a time covering that up. Gerard gave him the ok, and he pushed in very slowly, listening carefully for a sign to stop until he bottomed out completely and the hand on Frank's waist tightened considerably.

**((we interrupt this smut to tell you that right now this oneshot is three and a hALF FUCKING PAGES LONG AND IT'S SIZE 10 FONT AND IT'S AT .5 LINE SPACING JESUS CHRIST THIS IS LONG WE'RE LIKE 7/12 OF THE WAY THERE EEK**

**...back to the smut))**

"Come the fuck on, just fuck me already." Gerard hissed into Frank's ear, biting his earlobe hard. "Aren't you gonna fuck me hard, baby? Fuck me hard right into the mattress, huh? Gonna make me scream so loud that all your neighbors know I'm yours, all yours? C'mon, Frankie, I know you can. Make sure I'm gonna feel it tomorrow, feel you with every step I take."

"You're right." Frank said. "I'm gonna fuck you until you can't walk"

And with that he slid almost all the way out of Gerard, pausing before slamming his hips back into Gerard's and repeating the action again and again and again until he could barely breathe, but his body took over now and his hips were pistoning into Gerard's ass like there was no tomorrow, like he hadn't fucked in years. Gerard was a moaning panting mess, and he reached up with a hand to pull Frank down to kiss him hard, and oh yeah, Frank was more than okay with that. Frank twisted his hips and Gerard shouted and squirmed, Frank'd hit the spot that made him see stars. They kissed breathlessly, their tongues tangling and chest brushing together, and Frank couldn't stop, something else was in control of his body, an animal instinct to keep going until he couldn't anymore.

"'M gonna co-come." Gerard moaned out loud, clenched hard around frank and tumbled into the abyss of pleasure. It took almost all of Frank's energy to keep fucking him through his orgasm and to not explode himself, but he managed, and he kept pushing into the tight heat, and thoughts were going through his brain and fuck yeah those were hot so he voiced them aloud.

"Wanna come all over you, make you mine, my dirty little slut, all mine." Frank growled and bit at Gerard's throat, feeling his pulse point under his teeth.

"Yes, yes, all yours, your dirty little slut, please, make me yours, only yours, please!" Gerard moaned out, oversensitivity making him whine and beg, wanting it to stop but also keep going at the same time, and Frank had been there, felt the pleasurepain skittering across his skin, the single thought repeating in his mind. He'd been there.

Frank slammed his hips into Gerard, crowding him up against the headboard, closed his eyes and came hard. He could feel his face contorting into an expression he knew was not attractive. Then all thoughts of his appearance left his head and shit. Shit, he was gonna explode. He nearly blacked out as pleasure scrambled through his head.

After all the white noise had moved on, Frank rolled over, pulling himself out of Gerard, not even bothering to open his eyes. He pulled them condom off and tied it, lobbing it in the general direction of the bin in his room, fist pumping weakly when it made it in and didn't explode against the wall (Frank'd had that happen before). He could hear Gerard's heavy breathing from beside him, and opened one eye to see the man lying on his back in the enormous bed, limbs spread out, his body open to the world, eyes shut with a shit eating grin on his face.

"Wow. You - I - sex. Wow." Gerard rolled over to face Frank, and Frank himself found that the grin was contagious, and soon his lips were spread wide in triumph.

"Articulate." Frank quirked an eyebrow, and Gerard giggled and shit. Frank had never found a man so attractive. Frank rolled over and grabbed the boxers that were on the floor. He threw his pair at Gerard's, and kept Gerard's boxers for himself. Call him creepy but come on, if he couldn't get this guy's phone number, he needed to have something to remind him of the best night of his life. Once they were both boxered up, Frank said "Come here, I wanna cuddle."

He made grabby hands and Gerard scootched over so Frank could spoon him. Frank kissed his ear and said "Even though I'm actually 4'9 you're letting me be the big spoon? Flattered."

"You're so fucking cute, baby." Gerard slurred tiredly. "But shhhh, I wanna sleep."

Frank smiled and kissed Gerard's shoulder softly, then his neck, and then his ear, whispering "Sleep well baby. I'll be here when you wake up."

He continued peppering Gerard's shoulder and neck in kisses until he felt the man's breathing even out. He reached a hand around Gerard's waist and tucked it into the front of his boxers.

"I know you're asleep right now," Frank whispered, "But I think I could fall in love with you. I think I could."

He kissed Gerard's ear softly, then tucked his head into Gerard's neck, watching the sides of his chest move up and down in time with his breaths. Watching Gerard sleep was making Frank sleepy, warmth and love filling his heart, so he kissed Gerard goodnight and settled down to end might potentially be the best night of his life.

******((3051 words))**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote the last part of this smut with my fucking 17 year old sister right beside me the entire time. it was a strange experience. also wow that was prolly the longest oneshot ive written so far. damn. hope you guys enjoyed!!! next weeks chapter is super cute and pretty short, so this is kinda compensation for the lack of smut and length in next week. please leave kudos and a kind comment, it gives me fuel to write, knowing that people actually like what i'm reading. i love y'all. xoblue


	4. And Make Me Ill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this one is so fucking cute!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you've read theatre 12 by GMD123 then u know

I awoke to the sound of Frank scrambling out of bed, and I rolled out of bed after my husband.

"Frank?" I called, blundering into the bathroom blindly. I fumbled for the switch, and when the bathroom was illuminated I saw Frank crouched over the toilet, vomiting apropos of shit-all. I rushed over and pulled his hair out of his face, patting his back and whispering to him.

"Shh, Frankie. It's okay. You feeling any better?" I patted his back, and he nodded. "I'll call the theater and let them know you can't come in today. I'm sure Mia will be fine if you're gone for a day or two." **((wink wonk))**

Frank just gagged again, and I stroked his back and whispered to him gently. He continued to dry-wretch even after everything had come up. I patted his back and after he was done, I pulled him upright, and picked him up. I put him on the counter, retrieving a washcloth and wetting it. I gently cleaned around Frank's mouth, cleaning around his eyes where they were swollen and red. I brushed his teeth gently for him, and helped him into a clean shirt. I kissed the top of his head once, and helped him back to bed. I wasn't sleepy, but as soon as Frank was in bed he passed out. I pressed my ear against his chest to check his breathing - it was clear and smooth, no rattling in his chest, or wheezing when he breathed out.

I snuggled up beside him, my ear against his chest so I could monitor his breathing while he slept. After a while, watching Frank made sleep crowd around in my own ears, so I kissed his hot forehead before promptly falling asleep.

I woke up a while later, Frank still sleeping beside me. It was light now, the sun streaming through the big windows beside our bed. I rolled over and sat up, stretching, wincing when my shoulder popped. I walked to the kitchen in my boxers and Frank's Smashing Pumpkins sweater (although the line between mine and his is small, basically non-existent), padding barefoot over to the coffee machine. I make myself a tall mug of coffee and grabbed just a glass of water for Frank, and an advil.

I walk back into our room, and see Frank has opened his eyes and half assedly sitting up. He looked extremely pale in the sunlight, sweat glistening on his forehead. As I walked closer him he kicked the blankets off, obviously too hot. He was shivering in the sunlight, sweaty and uncomfortable.

"Oh Frankie baby..." I put my mug and Frank's things down on the bedside table, and climbed onto the bed beside him, being careful not to touch. Frank coughed brutally, hacking up mucus from his lungs. His breathing was whistling again, and his eyes were red and puffy. "This is past allergies, isn't it? Do you think you need to go to the doctor?"

"N-" Frank burst out coughing again, his throat making a grating noise when he breathed. He cleared his throat and tried again. "No, all the doctor is gonna say is "Get rest and drink lots of water" and I'm already doing that."

"Okay," I murmured softly, and we just sat there in silence, me stroking Frank's hair off his sweaty forehead, the only noise in the room the rattling wheeze of Frank's breathing. Frank asked for water so I handed him the glass, but he was too weak to hold it. I held the glass to his lips and let him sip at it, small sips. Frank eventually was able to take the advil, and he settled down to sleep again after about half on hour.

"I love you," Frank whispered right before he drifted off. "love you loads, Gee."

"Love you too baby, now get some sleep." I smiled as I spoke, leaning down to kiss Frank's forehead. He just mumbled something illegible, so I let him fall asleep.

I wandered back to the kitchen and made myself more coffee. My mind wondered back to our wedding, back to our honeymoon, back to our old apartment, back to the street where we began **(( hehe))** , back to place where he first asked me out. Our wedding was always a fun memory, Mikey all dressed in a tux with Pete his then soon-to-be husband- they're happily married now- and of course our three gay friends Geoff, Awsten and Otto laughing and joking saying they should get a poly marriage- they actually did- and my mom and Frank's mom sobbing their eyes out in the front row, all our friends clapping and crying when we sealed our fate with a kiss.

I heard Frank coughing from our bedroom, so I went off to take care of him. He'd woken up, struggled upright and was now fully sitting. I climbed on the bed and he put his head on my shoulder. We sat there for a bit until I noticed his temperature had gone down.

"You're a little cooler," I turned my face into his sweaty hair. "You feeling any better?"

"Mhmm." Frank hummed into my collar bone. "Maybe it was just a 24 hour thing."

"Hopefully."

"I'm gonna sleep again, will you stay with me?" Frank shifted to lying down, making grabby-grabby hands towards me. I lay down beside him and kissed him cheek. He octopused me and wrapped all him limbs around me. I rolled onto my back so he was on top of me, then I drifted to sleep with him drawing lazy patterns into my arms.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :,)
> 
> can you here me yelling! this one is probably my favourite one i've written thanks. hella short! thought y'all would be ok with it though because last weeks was highly emotional and really REALLY fucking long, so some cute shit to repair your soul. love y'all xoblue. 990 words


	5. You're Running After Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard's gone. Frank needs him to come back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow. i meant for this to be a lot more sad than it turned out, but i liked the final result so i kept it. is this good? you tell me. chris is an original female character. i love y'all. thanks for supporting this♥

Frank was sitting on his couch. He hadn't moved for three days. Ray had stopped by to make sure he ate something, but other than that, the only time Frank'd moved was to go to the bathroom. He didn't sleep. Barely ate. He was waiting. Waiting for who?

Gerard. 

He’d disappeared three days ago. Frank had recorded a message for the kids. He had been waiting diligently for the days. He would never stop waiting. Ever.

His chest was breaking. Every hour without Gerard, hell, every second without him was like another hammer blow to his chest, the gaping hole in it growing wider and wider. He couldn't feel his heart beating anymore, only an empty space in his chest. He didn't know what it felt like to be alive, to feel joy. He didn't know if he could keep going without Gerard. Even thinking his name hurt. Everything hurt to the point where Frank was numb. Totally numb. His ears were clouded with pain, a dark grey cloud hovering over his head.

There was a knock on the door. Frank jumped up, his legs screaming in protest. He sprinted to the door and yanked it open. 

A girl stood there, wearing a MCR shirt and jeans. She looked to be in her late teens, early 20’s. She looked at him, surprised, like she hadn't fully expected him to answer the door. 

“Hi?” Frank said, confused.

“Uh, hi.” The girl took a deep breath, seemingly steading herself. “My name's Chris. Uh, we heard about Gerard, and a bunch of us got together to look. We haven't found anything yet, but uh. Here.”

The girl - Chris - held out a whole package of strawberry poptarts, Frank's favourite food in the entire world. It wasn't just a single box either, but one of those multipacks you can get from Costco. He took it, happily. Chris smiled when he smiled, just a teeny bit.

“Thank you. And, uh, say thanks to your friends for going out to look. Bob, Ray, and Mikey, and Brian have been out there for ages. Um, d’ya wanna come in for some tea? It's the least i can do.”

Chris looked absolutely delighted, but tried to hide it the second the emotion showed on her face. “Thank you so much, Frank. Really, it means a lot.”

“It's alright. I could use some company anyways.”

And that's how Frank Iero, the man in love with Gerard Way (although Gee didn't know it yet), the rhythm guitarist for My Chemical Romance, New Jersey enthusiast and general gay presence ended up drinking tea with a college student in his apartment.

“Are you at college, Chris?”

“Um, yeah actually, I’m majoring in psychiatry with a minor in math. I want to help kids with mental health problems. Y’know, save some lives. After you've been through it yourself, you realize other people go through it too and that they're not getting help. So. I want to change that.”

“That's very kindhearted of you. Honestly, I think the four of us could've done with a psyche as kids. ‘Specially Gerard.” Frank looked away from Chris then, and wiped his eyes hurriedly. “I love him, y’know. I love all of them. They're my brothers. Ray, and Mikes and Gerard. They mean so much to me. They all mean the world to me, and they've been through so much. They've had such a hard time tryna to live, and i just want em all to be happy. Ya feel?”

He sniffled a little bit, and Chris reached across the small table to pat him on the back.

“It's alright, Frank. We're all looking out for you. Every single one of us. We've got you. All of you. But really,” She checked her watch and looked back up. “I must be off, I have a doctor's appointment to go to.”

“Oh.” Frank was a little surprised, he'd been enjoying the company, and for once in the last three days he didn't feel lonely. He felt as if the pain in his chest had been lessened, so, as if the company of such a bright young adult had made him have hope for the future. The dark gray cloud above his head didn't go away, but maybe lightened in color a little bit. “Good bye, then, Chris. Thanks for the poptarts, really. Stop by anytime you want. And, uh, tell your friends thanks for going out to look for Gerard. Means a lot.”

He walked her to the door and thanked her again, then bid her goodbye. He closed his apartment door and picked up the giant box of poptarts, and a bottle of water and sat down on the couch.

He didn't know long he was sitting there, but the next thing he knew he was waking up to a soft knock on his door, shooting upright, rubbing his eyes then jogging to the door. He flung it open and -

“GEE!” And suddenly, Frank could breathe again. The gaping hole in his chest sealed immediately, and the clouds lifted from his head. He stood there in the doorway, and he was living again. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, feel himself breathing and his lungs work, oxygen pumping to his brain. He hurled himself out of the doorway and onto Gerard, who seemed very tired, but wrapped his arms around Frank and hugged him tight. Frank wrapped his arms around Gerard's neck and held on. No one was ever going to take his baby away from him again. He pressed his face into Gerard's neck, breathing in his smell, and soon he found that tears were streaming over his face. “Gee, Gee, Gee, baby, I was so fucking scared, so worried, I thought you weren't coming back, we didn't fucking know, we had no idea, also I'm fucking furious at you for fucking leaving but I'm so fucking glad you're alive, you're here, baby don't ever do that again, shit, c'mon, please, we'll get you what you need, meds, a fuckin shrink, we'll get you clean, anything, just never do that again, please?”

And suddenly Gerard had wrapped his hands around Frank's shoulders and they were forehead to forehead and chest to chest, looking each other in the eyes, and their breath was mixing in front of them, and then Frank closed the small gap between their lips and kissed Gerard, hard.

They'd kissed before, on stage and what not, and once when they were both super crossfaded they made out in the back of the van - Frank totally didn't still jerk off to what was left of that memory, no - but really, that was it. Frank was very much in love with Gerard, but he pushed it to the side, saying that he loved Gerard like a brother. But here they were, kissing in the hallway of Frank’s apartment building. Gerard reached up to cup Frank's face in his hands and Frank himself wound his arms up Gerard back around his neck. Frank licked at Gerard's bottom lip, and Gerard opened his mouth with a sigh. Frank pulled back, still holding on tight to Gerard.

“Wow. You- wow.” Gerard reached up with a hand to touch Frank's lips, then his own, as if he couldn't believe that they'd just kissed. “Wow”

Frank leaned forwards again, and this time Gerard met him halfway, and they kissed again, making out soft and slow in the middle of the hallway.

“We - should - probably- go inside.” Frank kissed Gerard between each word he spoke, making an effort to tell Gerard he was loved. “I’m going to call Mikey and Ray, they'll come over.”

“Ok. Sounds good.” Gerard held Frank's hand as Frank led him inside. Frank led him to the kitchen, where he got Gerard a glass of water and made him drink it all. Gerard finished his water and looked at Frank hungrily. Frank hugged him hard, and Gerard walked them over to the edge of the counter, until Frank was pinned against it. The six inch height difference between the two of them really came into call here, Frank being 5’4 and Gerard being 5’10. Frank felt Gerard's hand slide down his back to his ass, down to his thighs and grab on, lifting him up onto the counter. Frank groaned involuntarily, and Gerard smiled into their next kiss. Frank, now at a more reasonable height, kissed the corner of Gerard's mouth, then his cheek, his earlobe, and his neck.

“Babe, I care about you so fuckin much, but damn.” Frank chuckled. “You need to shower.”

Gerard laughed and pecked Frank's lips again, and said “Alright. Guess i should. It's been a while.”

Once Frank finally let Gerard go, and they'd found extra clothes for Gerard, and he was in the shower, Frank tossed Gerard's clothes in the laundry machine and called Mikey.

“Yo Mikey? Yeah Gerard's home, he's at my place. Shh, it's ok. Yes he's alive. He's not hurt. Yes you can come over. Hey shh, stop crying he's okay. He's in the shower right now. Shh, Mikey it's ok. He's alright. He's alive. Try not to speed to much on the way here. Take Ray with you. Ok. I love you. See you soon.” Frank hung up, and Gerard walked into the room, black hair wet, wearing Frank's old sweatpants, which were slightly too short, and one of Frank's old Misfits sweaters that fit Gerard pretty well

“You know,” Frank walked forwards, close up to Gerard, wrapping his arms around his waist and standing in his tiptoes to whisper into Gerard's ear “You look so sexy in my clothes.”

Gerard shivered and pulled him closer and replied “Once we've got this mess all sorted out, let me take you out for dinner. You're such a beautiful person.”

“Are you asking me on a date?!” Frank grinned, nibbling at Gerard's earlobe.

“You know what, I am.”

“Then yes. I would love for you to take me to dinner.” Frank kissed him again, and they were just starting to get into it when there was a knock on the door.

“That's Mikey and Ray.” Frank could tell by the urgency of the knock. He walked open to the door and opened it, and Mikey came barreling in, almost knocking Frank over. He disappeared into the kitchen where Gerard was, and Frank heard him yell “Gerard Arthur Way!”

Frank smiled at Rat and the two of them followed Mikey's path into the kitchen to see Mikey holding Gerard so tight it looked like he couldn't breathe. Ray walked over to the pair and wrapped his arms around both of them. They stood there for a minute with Frank awkwardly to the side until Ray fixed him with a Look and Frank smiled and rolled his eyes, walking over to join the group.

Frank doesn't know how long they stood there, holding each other tight. All Frank really knows is that the sun was peeping through his blinds when someone's stomach made a grumbling noise (probably Gerard?) and someone giggled (probably Mikey). The hug broke apart, Mikey wiping tears away from his eyes.

“Can we eat something? Chinese, if everyone's cool with it?” Mikey asked.

“I'll pay,” Frank said. “It's my house. My treat.”

And that's how the four of them ended up sitting on Frank's living room floor sharing chinese food at 5 o'clock in the morning. Gerard was leaning against the couch, Frank's head in his lap, Ray’s head on his shoulder, Mikey's head in Ray's lap. They were laughing, smiling, Mikey was still wiping tears from his eyes, and Frank could see that Ray's eyes were a little shiny. 

They switched on the TV, watching the first thing that came up (South Park) and Frank cleared away their boxes. When he came back from the kitchen he found Mikey asleep in Ray's's lap, Gerard's eyes drifting closed too. Frank sat back down in his spot and Gerard put his head back in his lap, Ray lent his head back on Frank's shoulder. Frank just watched them all sleep, feeling happy and slightly possessive over his boys, his brothers and Gee, watching them sleep happily and blissfully in their own world.

Frank lent his head against Ray's and closed his eyes, at peace in his soul and happy for the first time.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heaven's gate by fall out boy owns my heart. it's beautiful. this one is one of my faves, i really like the little bit of love we have at the end. i saw venom today with a very special someone, and it was spectacular!!


	6. That You'll Never Kill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard's a detective and Frank is pretty. What more is there to be said?

“Your name?” Gerard was sitting at a metal table with Frank Iero across from him. Gerard knew his name already, but he had to start with the basics. He had been allotted three hours of time, and one of the best and most expensive interrogation rooms in the entire facility. The door locked from the inside, there was a plush sofa and the shutters were pulled across the tiny window in the door. Half the lights were on, and nobody was going to disturb them here.

Gerard Way was the best detective in all of New Jersey, there wasn't a single case he couldn't solve. This case in particular had been through two other detectives before him, and both had ruled the man infront of Gerard as guilty, but Gerard wasn't so sure. There was something about Frank that seemed innocent, and Gerard was never one to send the innocent to jail.

Frank was in his late 20’s, a chef by day and a musician by night. Gerard knew almost everything about him already, where he lived, where his parents were from, but Gerard always liked to check to see if any lies would sprout up.

“Frank Iero.” Frank said nervously. Gerard looked right into his eyes, and saw what he wanted to see.

Gerard could always tell if someone was innocent or guilty just by looking at their eyes. Killer’s eyes had nothing in them. Dead. Flat. Nothing. It was like being able to see into their soul, but there was no soul left to see. Either that, or they were fucking crazy. Full of nothing except for the want to hurt people. They want to make someone feel the way they do. The innocent’s eyes have sadness in them, or guilt. Never anger or happiness or anything else. 

Frank's eyes were full of sadness, he looked on the verge of tears.

“You're innocent.” Gerard muttered, searching Frank's eyes with his own. Frank's eyes welled up, and he nodded.

“Th-They’re gonna send me to jail, and I didn't even kill him, they're gonna put me in the slammer when I didn't do anything at all,” Frank gasped, tears welling in his eyes. “I'm innocent, I swear.”

“I believe you.” Gerard whispered. Frank broke down sobbing, and Gerard said “Aw, cm’ere.”

Gerard never usually treated his clients like this, ever, but there was a certain thing about Frank's face that seemed to soft and welcoming and familiar. So, naturally, he let Frank climb into his arms and sob it out on his shoulder. He could feel the shivers wracking through Frank's small body, the shoulder of Gerard's shirt getting soaked.

After half an hour, Frank lifted his head up and smiled vaugly at Gerard, eyes red and nose puffy.

“I'm assuming you don't do that for all the people you see?” Frank said, gesturing towards their hug.

“I'm not allowed to touch clients except for searches, so I'm making an exception for you.”

“Well,” Frank leaned forwards, ghosting his lips over Gerard's cheek, untill he reached his ear. “You might want to search me,  _ sir _ , I've got something for you.”

Gerard shivered when Frank licked up his ear, rocking softly against him.

“Is that a gun in your pants?” Gerard whispered, and he felt Frank smile from where he was kissing at Gerard's neck.

“Mmm, maybe, I think you'll have to investigate yourself.” Frank popped open the first button on Gerard's shirt, lips drifting back up to Gerard's face. Gerard laced a hand into Frank's hair, and pulled him up.

“I fucking love it when you call me sir.” Gerard groaned.

“Well, it just so happens that I love calling you sir.” And with that final comment from Frank, Gerard smashed their lips together.

Frank whined loudly, shoving his tongue into Gerard's mouth, nibbling on his lip and licking the roof of his mouth. Gerard stood both of them up, and picked up Frank, carrying him over to the couch. He checked the door was locked, then pushed Frank down towards his crotch, panting heavily. Frank got down on his knees and ran a nail along the zipper of Gerard's pants, who shoved a fist into his mouth to keep his moans quiet. Frank unzipped and unbuttoned Gerard's pants, and got his dick out, then quieted slightly.

“What?” Gerard asked, nervous.

“Nothing. You're just perfect, that's all.”

Gerard heart fell out his chest, and he was ready to cry. Frank thought he was perfect? Woah. He pulled Frank's head by the hair towards his dick, and Frank moaned, opening his mouth and letting Gerard guide his head onto it.

“What do you like, Frankie? Do you want me to call you a whore, pull your hair?” Frank nodded at that, and bobbed his head down further on Gerard's cock, seamlessly swallowing around him. Gerard pulled Frank's hair, hard, which earned a moan, sending vibrations through his body via his dick.

“Oh, you liked that, didn't you, you little slut?” Gerard muttered at Frank. “Liked me pulling your hair, using you to get myself off. Nothing for than a fuck toy, that's what you are. Worthless.”

Frank moaned louder, and pulled off for a second to say “I'm yours, all yours. Only yours.”

“That's right, you're mine.” Gerard reached under Frank's chin and titled his head up a little, making sure he was still sucking. “And you look at me while you're getting me off, whore, I don't care if other people want their sluts to look at the floor, the floor doesn't own you, so you look at me.”

Frank ran his tongue over Gerard's slit, reaching up to play with Gerard's balls, and Gerard's eyes rolled back in his head from the feeling.

“Gonna come-” Gerard grunted, trying to get Frank to pull off, but he nuzzled down on Gerard's dick until his nose was buried in the hair and his bass, swallowing around Gerard as he came. White noise filled Gerard's ears and he shuddered, coming long and hard with a drawn out groan.

After Frank had swallowed every drop, he surged back up to kiss Gerard, rutting against his thigh helplessly. Gerard palmed him roughly through his jeans, and Frank moaned, loud. 

“Oh, sir, sir, you have no clue what you're doing to me, you're so- so - so good, you're perfect, I-” Gerard brought Frank to the edge with a few pulls of his hand, and then Frank came into Gerard's hand with a low, masculine moan, face scrunching up into a very attractive expression. Gerard bit at Frank's neck as he was coming, stroking him more softly to bring him down. After Frank was whining from over sensitivity, Gerard pulled his hand away and licked some of the come off of his finger.

“Wow…” Frank panted, collapsing into Gerard's arms. “Feeling thoroughly used right now.”

“Good,” Gerard chuckled. “That's the point.”

Frank smacked his arm, but then wiggled around until Gerard was lying flat on his back with Frank lying on his chest.

“Mmm, you were perfect.” Gerard whispered, kissing Frank softly. “My perfect little sub.”

“So, uh, you… you want me to be your sub?” Frank asked, nuzzling against his neck.

“I would, Frankie. You're very wonderful. Anyone would be lucky to have you.” Gerard kissed his nose. He added in a whisper, “You're absolutely phenomenal.” 

Frank smiled and shivered, pressing his body against Gerard's. He pressed a kiss to his collarbone.

“I would happily suck your dick again, but honestly, I'm so fucking tired I just want a nap.” And with that Frank buried his face into Gerard's chest, and fell asleep.

Gerard laughed, pulled his phone out of his pocket, set a timer for an hour and forty five minutes (how long they had left), kissed Frank's head and drifted after him into sleep.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another chapter down!!


	7. If This Is What You Want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank compares his relationship to a pain of glass. He's holding a rock.

It had been a week. Frank walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water, and Gerard was sitting at the table, drinking coffee and reading a comic. 

It was dead silent in the room. Silence was slowly killing their relationship, and Frank’s couldn’t stop it. Because sometimes, quiet is violent.

A normal couple would greet their partner with a hi, or a kiss, or sit down next to them, or something. Frank didn’t say anything. He got his glass of water and left the room. Gerard didn’t even look at him.

*

Exactly three days later, Frank thought everything over. He always counted the days. He didn’t have anything else to do aside from work and just exist. He didn’t really have any point to living anymore. His only hope, his one person, his Gee, was not even acknowledging that they were in the same room. Frank was slipping away, slowly dying more and more. The weight on his chest was growing stronger and stronger, dragging him down, muffling his senses with cloud-like pain, forcing a lump into his throat and a heaviness into his feet. Gerard’s lack of communication only fed the monster in Frank’s body, which greedily sucked up all the sad thoughts Frank had and spat them back out at him. Frank really wasn’t ready to keep living, and the weight on his chest and the monster in his head and the voices in his ear and the ball and chains on his feet and the cloud muffling his senses all encouraged him to die. And maybe Frank would.

Frank and Gerard were once that typical, beautiful couple you see in movies and books and fan fictions. Always holding each other’s hands, locked at the lips, sex drive like two teenagers, just so in love it made you want to either puke or cry. All their friends, Mikey and Geoff specifically, knew that the two would end up together, as they’d been friends since kindergarten and were always there for each other. Frank had a crush on Gerard all the way through high school, and not only until after they’d gotten together did Mikey tell Frank that Gerard had liked him through high school as well. They’d fought a couple times, but really not that often, and they always had amazing makeup sex after. Frank missed those days, the good old golden days when they could just be a couple without trying. 

Now, however, things have changed. Their relationship is like a pane of glass, so easily shattered. Frank had picked up a rock, and was winding up the throw.

Frank sleeps on the couch. Gerard doesn’t make him coffee in the mornings. Frank no longer does Gerard’s laundry. They make their own meals. Frank hasn’t kissed Gerard in ages. Frank comes home from his teaching job at the high school, and the apartment almost seems as if it’s empty. It no longer feels like home. 

Frank needs to end this, just so he can get rid of the pain in his chest, and get rid of the voices in his ear and get rid of the clouds in his mind.

“Gerard?” Frank’s voice was crackly with unuse. He hadn’t talked in ages. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Gerard? Can you come here please? Into the kitchen?”

Frank watched nervously as Gerard walked into the room, his cup of coffee in his hand, wearing a baggy sweater. He sat down opposite Frank at their small round kitchen table. 

_Before he would've sat next to him._   


“Frank?” Gerard looked sad, like he knew what Frank was going to say. He finished his coffee and Frank took a deep breath, preparing to throw the stone.

“Gerard.” Frank looked him dead in the eyes. “We haven’t talked in eight days. We haven’t slept in the same bed in three _months_. I haven’t kissed you in six. We’re falling apart. We’re… we’re not working out. I’m sorry.”

Gerard shook his head, a tiny sad smile on his face. "If this is what you want, if this is what you think is best. I understand, Frankie.”

_ Gerard hadn't called him Frankie in years. _

Frank nodded, eyes welling up. Gerard suddenly stood up and walked around the table, then swept Frank up in his arms. The two of them stood there, Frank silently crying into Gerard’s shoulder. They were done. Frank cared about Gerard,he really did, but he was too fucking numb to try, to even put anything into the relationship anymore. They fizzled out, only like the weak relationships do.

The stones were thrown, the glass shattered. They were done.

Frank kissed Gerard’s cheek softly, and whispered “I’ll go pack my things.”

They really were done.

*

Gerard was sitting at his kitchen table, drinking coffee. It was 8am and he was about to head of to work. The TV was on, playing just as background noise. It had been exactly seven days since Frank’d moved out (not that Gerard was counting or anything) and Gerard hadn’t heard a single word from him. No text, no calls, nothing. He just packed his stuff and left. The news logo flashed on the TV and Gerard looked up, deciding to pay attention for once.

“... And a man named Frank Iero supposedly jumped in front of a truck late last night, and was rushed to the hospital, only to die there. None of Iero's family or friends have reached out to help, so if you know this man we urge you to call the police and help with the case. And now, the weather.”

Gerard dropped his coffee mug. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for continuing to read this- there has been quite the hiatus from this one and i'm sorry. second to last chapter, and then it's done.


	8. Then Fire At Will

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank takes a shot for the man he loves. Confessions and love filled promises follow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you if you've been patiently waiting for updates that took almost eight months to come around. this one is my favourite chapter, enjoy :)

Frank awoke to the noise of creaking leather boots, and he felt sand, everywhere. There was sand in places where there should not be sand. He took a minute to gauge how his body felt, and he nearly burst into tears. He was in so much fucking pain, specifically a nub in his chest that spiderweb cracks of pure agony filtered out of, and Frank rolled over on the wooden board to puke. He opened his eyes and oh shit, Gerard was there, smelling like sweat and hair dye and sand and like home and Frank loved him so much and he really was going to cry. 

“Took a bullet for me again, huh, Ghoul?” Gerard leaned down to put his forehead against Frank’s and let their noses brush. They'd kissed before, this wouldn't be the first time. Frank secretly hoarded all the memories of their lips touching; whether it was before when they were on stage or after, in the sand and blazing sun, he remembered every moment. Frank shivered all over, feeling Gerard wrap his arms around Frank's overheating body, his jacket creaking and his holster pressing against Frank’s thigh. Frank was just so there, so loving the situation that he actually nearly kissed Gerard. He felt Gerard whisper his name into Frank’s ear, and brush his lips against the shell.

“You scared the shit outta me, Ghoul, don’t you ever do that to me and Kobes again, ok? We were all so fucking worried, you being the fucking superhero you are took a bullet that wasn’t even remotely near me and now you’re in pain and I wish you didn’t have to be in pain, please, I love you and-” Gerard cut himself off, realizing what he was saying. He stared down at Frank with a horrified terror on his face, but couldn’t tell what was so wrong. 

“I love you too, Party, you know that.” And fuck, that hurt. To say that really hurt. Frank had always wanted Gerard, always, from the first day he met him right until now, he’d wanted the pale man’s affection, needed his opinion, craved his validation and attention. Frank honest-to-god loved Gerard, and he knew everything he could know about him, from his favorite moon cycle, to his favorite episode of the office, even his favorite shade of gray  and Frank even knew Gerard’s soft spot (behind his ears). 

Gerard pressed closer, his nose brushing Frank's, and Frank shivered because, holy fuck, it'd been a while since he's really gotten laid - he refused to fuck his love’s brother, and Ray, well- to put it shortly, they fucked once or twice; however Frank was too in love with Gerard and Ray was too in love with Mikey for it to be really satisfying for both of them - and really? He missed it. Missed the intimacy, missed the feeling of having someone else be yours, and having them own you just like you own them. So now, Frank tilted his head up a little and let his lips press against the corner of Gerard's mouth, such a feather light touch that it could be passed off as an accident if necessary.

What really shocked Frank was that Gerard turned his head to the side and caught Frank's lips with his own, and, holy  _ shit holy fuckoh my god holyfuckholyfuck _ Frank was going to die.

Frank pressed against Gerard, feeling his hand sneak around his waist, the two of them lying on a flat sheet of wood that served as a bed (but now that Frank’s thinking about it, it would be easier and more comfortable to fuck on the floor, if that is going to happen), Frank almost lying on top of Gerard. His rib hurt SO MUCH he felt like he was gonna puke or pass out, and that wasn't sexy, but he was willing to ignore it, because  _hey_ , _really hot guy making out with you currently, focus on that._  

Frank pressed even closer, reaching around to the waistline of Gerard's pants, letting his fingers dip below his belt, touching the soft, warm skin that was there. Gerard groaned into Frank's mouth, and _yeah_ , Frank felt that. They were lying so close together that Frank wasn't sure where his body ended and Gerard's began. Frank was ready, really, ready to fuck Gerard into the end of the apocalypse. 

“Fuck, Ghoul, don’t stop, please,” Gerard was panting in Frank’s ear as Frank pressed his hips against the redhead’s, feeling his holster that was laced around his legs press against Frank’s own thighs, and Frank was nibbling on Gerard’s neck, making marks that Frank knew Mikey and Ray would smirk at. Frank wanted to show them, show Dr. D and News that yeah, Party Poison, the smoking hot bisexual punk was Frank’s and  _ only  _ Frank’s. 

Gerard ground up into Frank’s hips, and oh _yeah_ , Frank had missed that. Missed this from their days on stage, way back before the end of the world began. His eyelids fluttered and his eyes rolled back, and he thought he would come just from that. Not yet though, as he wanted to be in Gerard _now_ and Gerard was still covered in fucking clothes, and then Frank was kissing Gerard, and smelling the smell of sand and sweat and hair dye and heat, and he loved it. Frank reached up and wound his hands into Gerard’s hair, and _fuck,_ Gerard’s _hair_. It was long and red and perfect for pulling on, and Frank did just that, winding his hands into the dyed strands and pulling, hearing Gerard moan into his mouth, and then suddenly Gerard’s hands were in Frank’s hair and they were kissing and pulling on each other’s hair, Frank’s being a long, curly black mess and Gerard’s being a straight, firetruck red mop of hair. 

Frank was pushing down into Gerard’s hips, loving every second of it, the two of them rutting into each other like teenagers, fucking each other through their clothes. Frank was gonna come, right there, pressing down into Gerard. Both of them groaning in tandem, Frank pressed his fingers under the waistline of Gerard’s pants, and stroked the warm, smooth skin there. They couldn’t get naked right now (unfortunately); they were in the middle of the desert and Frank was injured, and the Dracs could be here any minute.

Frank pressed closer, their shirts rucked up around their ribs, bellies pressed together, and Frank could feel all of Gerard’s ribs poking out of his chest, and holy fucking  _ shit _ Frank was in pain. Gerard groaned, low and masculine (very sexy), bit under Frank’s ear and came in his pants, Frank tumbling after him into complete oblivion, groaning and saying “Oh god, I love you, I love you IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou” and swearing. After what felt like forever, the pulsing stopped and the white noise faded away, and Frank opened his eyes- he hadn’t even realized he’d closed them- and saw Gerard, looking fondly down at him, a smile on his face. Frank pressed his nose into Gerard’s neck, smiling and kissing the warm damp skin there. He kissed Gerard’s ear lobe and sucked on his sweet spot, cuddling him, their legs intertwined.

“I meant what I said. Before.” Frank whispered, feeling Gerard tense beneath him. “I do love you. I really do.”

“You love me? You’re in love with me? You fell in love with me?” Gerard whispered, sounding small and scared and afraid of having his heart shattered again. 

“Party.” Frank leaned closer and whispered “Gerard. Of course I’m in love with you. I love every bit of you, from your tiny teeth to your crooked left pinkie toe. The way you’re such a heavy-footed driver, and the way you used to sing just to me when we were on stage. You remember that? The stage days? Back when we were young and stupid and couldn’t care less, and when we were drunk all the time and the way you used to kiss me on stage, and the fans would go fucking crazy for it, for you, for you and me, for us. I miss that, y’know, when we were in the van and you could feel it when one of us was jerking off, when we used to have motel nights and Kobra used to fuck Jet in the bathroom, and we were all stuck in one bed, you and Jet on the edges and me and Kobra in the middle, because Kobes got cold easily and I always fell off the edge because I was about 4’9 then. And the when we moved to hotel nights we got two rooms, one for you and Kobra and one for me and Jet, but we almost always ended up in your room by the latest midnight, because I get lonely and Jet really loves Kobra. We would all pile into your bed, your king that you would share with Kobes, and I realized in those nights that I loved you because I wanted to be the one in your bed, and I wanted to be the one you kissed goodnight." Frank stopped to breathe and saw that Gerard had tears in his eyes. He reached and stroked Gerard's cheek before continuing.

"And oh baby, I knew I loved you when you kissed me on stage and I kissed back, and it wasn’t just for show. It was real because I _love_ _you_. We would pile in bed and then Brian would come in in the mornings and we’d be in a gay sad pile and he’d hate it but he couldn’t stop it because we all get lonely. And I still love your tiny teeth and your crooked toe and everything about you, how you dislike your stomach and how you love having bright colored hair. I love you, Party, and I always will.”

Frank finished speaking and kissed Gerard, tugging on his lip and licking around his mouth softly and beautifully and he was so  _ there _ for it, for everything. He fucking loved Gerard so much, so much it hurt, and wow, he wanted reciprocation.

“I love you too, Ghoul. Your beautiful black hair and your little fingers and your tattoos, and how even now, I can remember what you looked like when you played guitar. I love you, and my heart belongs to you, and you only.”

Frank kissed him, hard, and felt their teeth scrape, their tongues coiling and their breath mixing. 

“Now, you should get some sleep so that rib of yours can heal.” Gerard kissed Frank’s cheek and settled onto the wooden plank, and Frank closed his eyes. 

“G’night, Party.” Frank murmured into Gerard’s chest and he felt the soft reply of “Sleep well, baby,” before he slipped into unconsciousness. 

And this time, he wasn't sleeping alone.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and this concludes thank you for the venom.   
> and thus i must thank you all for reading :)


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